


Umbrella

by Shinigamibutter



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst?, Bittersweet, Contemplation, Drabble, Jooheon - Minji, Kihyun as himself cause I decided to do this, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Umbrellas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 00:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16713478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinigamibutter/pseuds/Shinigamibutter
Summary: Kihyun hadn't realized his love for Jooheon ran that deep until he'd seen him as Minji. But even then he knew the rapper was still just out of reach.





	Umbrella

**Author's Note:**

> I have a headache. If you've ever stumbled anywhere near my fics I'm always writing the weird ones when I'm sick, cranky, or overall not feeling so hot. For some reason or another. 
> 
> As it stands it bothered me that my MX fic count was uneven and I liked this scene. Of the girls Minji was my type. ^ . ~

It was a scene, a drama scene. Pretty commonplace and Kihyun knew it. Honestly he’d watched several hundred of them having grown up in a country that valued dramatic effect in the best way possible. But there was something completely different about watching a scene and acting a scene. Something not quite tangible that lingered on the precipice of conscious. Something that so far he’d been unable to put a name to. A feeling he’d never quite felt before. 

He felt it now though, being the main love interest of someone while he wasn’t pretending to the be the girl. It was instead Jooheon, as Minji who was the apple of his eye in this drama. Not that they had many scenes. Still he knew the ones they did have were important, and just that right amount of dramatic. He was admittedly looking forward to certain scenes more than he thought he would be by the time they rolled around.

Of course all of those thoughts had flown out the window as soon as he’d started acting. He wasn’t Kihyun anymore he was his part. Well to a point, he wasn’t a method actor. But even so watching Jooheon as Minji under that umbrella tugged at his heart strings. A feeling that didn’t quite go away with the ending of the scene. Hadn’t really even faded after the ridiculous drying scene when he knew it should have. 

Instead the feeling stayed. Building up to something that was felt like acting, that was there but wasn’t. A feeling that should have boundaries but in the end they didn’t matter because there was no containing them. It started to grow deeper the more time he spent with the younger, realizing that his good points were there. Had always been there, just unacknowledged as with anyone you’ve spent so long with you almost forget they are there. 

The little things were what he noticed first. It wasn’t the big things or Jooheon’s cuteness that got to him, but the small little actions he’d long forgotten about. Then it was the cuteness, the out right attack on his feelings. And it wasn’t until then, staring at the scene they’d shot together long after it had been shown to the world that he realized. He’d fallen deeper than he’d intended. That there was no going back to not noticing every little thing, or craving more. It was too late.

Kihyun knew of course that there was nowhere to go from there. No end to the feeling, no relief to it either watching as Jooheon was as he always was. And inside Kihyun knew he no longer felt the same as he always did. But he couldn’t, wouldn’t say it. There was a balance he refused to upset for something so selfish. He could admit, holding onto the image of Minji that he regretted, he wished it hadn’t been. That maybe one day he wouldn’t feel this way. 

In consolation he reminded himself that even if things never changed, Jooheon was there. Tangible. Real. And his feelings of fondness were not fake. They weren’t an acted out scene that played out before his mind’s eye much differently than it had on screen. Jooheon cared about him, and Kihyun would accept it. At least there was that. At least where there was no Minji with an umbrella there was Jooheon, with a real smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts appreciated even for this trash. I'm sorry.


End file.
